Letting Go and Trusting God

“Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future.”

It’s easy to trust God when everything is going well, but what about when everything seems to be falling apart?

We have to fully submit to God and trust everything He allows to happen which I know isn’t always the easiest task, but God is in control and knows everything.

Trying to be in control and give control to someone else just doesn’t work. That can’t co-exist in the same heart. You have to give your WHOLE heart to God. If you can give your heart to your high school sweetheart, your college boyfriend, and whomever else along your journey of life, don’t you think you can put it in the hands of God? They are the safest hands your heart will ever be placed in.

When God is holding your heart and you trust Him completely, you will have an overwhelming sense of peace about everything life throws at you.

My 7 year old daughter has Leukemia. In March of 2014, she was hospitalized with the flu and it quickly escalated because of her lack of immune system. She was in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) and placed on an oscillating ventilator because she couldn’t breathe on her own for 5 weeks-the longest 5 weeks of my life! I remember having a spiritual battle within myself for the first few weeks. We had some very touch-and-go moments. The hospital staff had sent in chaplains and grief counselors to speak with me on several occasions because there were several times when they didn’t know if Bella was going to make it through the night.

I was angry with God. I asked for Him to take me in her place. I cried. I yelled. I prayed. I sang praise and worship songs over her bed. I did everything I knew to do. I was completely broken. I had gotten to the place where I had prepared myself for losing her (you can never truly prepare yourself for losing a child, but I was trying to prepare myself to the best of my ability). I remember one especially rough night where she kept having fevers that wouldn’t come down with medication, her blood pressure was through the roof, and she started having heart arrhythmias (PVCs) and all of the nurses on her case seemed especially antsy. I thought it may be the end. I remember thinking about how I was going to tell her little brother the news. I remember choking back tears as I whispered to God “it’s okay if you take my baby. I trust you.” I know this is going to sound corny, but that night was a turning point. Something just clicked and her fevers went away, her blood pressure stabilized, and they did an EKG the following morning and found nothing wrong with her heart. It was such a God thing!

Once I completely trusted Him and put aside all of my selfishness and anger towards seeing my baby in such a horrible way, God took care of the situation. My daughter is a walking miracle because of God. Because we had thousands of people praying for her and believing. But most of all, because it was God’s will to see her come out of it with an amazing testimony that brings glory to Him.

I don’t want you to misinterpret my message here though. Just because someone prays hard and trusts God, they may still not get the outcome they desire from their prayers. Not everyone’s child will survive unimaginable circumstances. Not everyone will get a pay raise or find a spouse or get a car, or whatever else they’re praying for in their life. We just have to remember that God’s plan is far bigger than we could ever imagine and by trusting Him, His plan will be fulfilled for our lives.

Isaiah 41:10: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Jeremiah 17:5 This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

Acts 3:16: By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see.



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